A Gift from Gloria to Rabia

The house that I live in is an old house. It was built in 1939. It is in one of the older neighborhoods in town. Most people that live here are older in age and have been living here for decades. The couple who used to live here, who we bought the house from, became empty-nesters and then retired and the house was too much work for them so they decided to move to a smaller place in another part of town. When it was put up for sale, as soon as we looked at it with our realtor, we fell in love with the hundred-year old trees in the backyard and the character of the entire house. It was a nice break from the “cookie-cutter” American houses. Having a feeling of love at first sight, we placed an offer that was accepted and we moved in right away.

It is sometimes nice to have neighbors who have kids that are the same age as yours. The kids have company and parents also have similar interests. But we discovered after we moved in that most of our neighbors were older people that were our parents’ age. I thought this was nice because it would mean more of a quiet and mature neighborhood without much partying by teenagers or chaos from little kids running around. 

Our next-door neighbors stopped by to introduce themselves. John was a lawyer who had retired a few years ago and Gloria had a career in education. It was a second marriage for both of them. Their children were my age who lived nearby and visited them often. They often hosted the grandkids on weekends and would set up their yard with games for them to play. They gave us their phone numbers to keep handy in case we needed anything and told us that they were always there for us but they also value privacy, both theirs and ours and would not “butt-in” too much into our business. 

Our backyard was beautiful and huge. The trees were old, large and with abundant leaves resulting in the most beautiful shade. There were a lot of plants that were perennials and with flowers of different types and colors, added to the beauty of the garden. The patio was small but cute and classy and I knew that this would be the place of countless friends and family get-togethers around bonfires. 

This all was good until the time came to mow the lawn and attend to the upkeep of the plants. It took me about an hour to mow the lawn which was initially quite enjoyable. It felt as if I was making love to my land or grooming a body part. The satisfaction that a woman draws from having cleaned the house and walking into a sparkly, tidy kitchen or living room; similar is the feeling of a man after he mows the yard and I couldn’t help but keep looking at the freshly cut grass in neat patterns. However, I soon realized that it would require too much of my time to take care of the yard all by myself and I had to hire a landscaping company to mow my lawn and to keep the plants in decent shape.

As much as I liked my own backyard but no matter what I did, I could not make it look as nice as John and Gloria’s. Gloria was retired and you could find her meticulously and passionately working in her backyard all the time. It almost felt like if there was daylight and if she was awake, you could find her in her garden. It was no surprise that her flower beds, grass and trees looked like they belonged to the centerfold of a housekeeping magazine. 

But everytime I would look at her garden, I could not help but think that my garden, although pretty decent by my standards, was looking so mediocre and unkempt compared to hers. I knew I was being silly thinking that way. She was retired and had all the time in the world, plus gardening was her passion. This was not a matter of making comparisons. But my mind would not budge from the thought that as people drove by our street, they would marvel at the beauty of her garden and then my front yard would stick out like a sore thumb tarnishing the beauty of the neighborhood. 

It was a nice beautiful sunny day. I came out for a walk in my backyard. I was looking at some of the plants and admiring their beauty, thanking my luck that they were very low maintenance plants and I did not even have to water them. The rain every few days took care of it. I turned around and saw Gloria walking towards me. She was carrying a small pail of water and some gardening tools. 

“Your garden is looking nice.” She remarked.

“Not nearly as nice as yours Gloria.” I replied thinking that apparently she was being courteous but she must be thinking how much work needs to be done in my garden.

“Well I spend a lot of time in my garden. If you put your time and your heart towards it, your garden could look better than mine.” That was a nice way of her saying how she thought my garden sucked.  

“I do so many other things and then I have to drive the kids around for their activities. That does not leave me too much time to spend in the garden.” I made the usual excuse. 

“See that flower bed in the corner? There are some weeds sticking out and if you pull them out, it will look so much better.” She pointed out.

“I know I will try to get to it next weekend.” I was feeling embarrassed that my garden had weeds but on the other hand I told myself that there is no way that I’m spending my hours plucking weeds in the garden. I had many other things to do and to be honest, the flower bed looked pretty nice to me. Maybe it was not up to her standards but I was perfectly comfortable with how it looked.

“Also that brown spot in your front yard. That’s probably because that part of the yard gets a lot of sun. Maybe you should water it more often. And also check with your landscaping company what kind of weed killer they are putting in your yard. Maybe it is too strong for your grass.” She seemed not to run out of things to point out in my yard that in her opinion needed immediate attention.

“I know it’s your garden but when I’m pruning my plants later today, I can clean up this flowerbed for you if you don’t mind.” She offered.

“Oh by all means Gloria. I don’t know when I will get to it but if you have some extra time, please feel free to do whatever you want. There is a saying in Spanish, “Mi Casa, Su Casa” which means, my house is your house. So consider my yard as your yard and anything that you would like to do to improve it, I don’t mind one single bit.” I replied. 

She never did.

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The summer went by. My friends visited me almost every weekend and we loved sitting around a fire on my garden patio. I put a hammock under the shade of the big old trees and it was very peaceful to spend a hot afternoon in the shade of the trees reading a book while sipping on an ice cold beverage. 

One day as I got up from the garden to go inside the house after the sun started going down, I saw Gloria approaching me in the shared driveway. She was holding a sizable book in her hands. 

“You were saying the other day that you don’t know too much about gardening. Well there is always somewhere to start with. Here, I have had this book since I started gardening a million years ago and it has helped me learn everything about gardening. I want you to have the book and learn from it just like I did. I’m sure you will love it.” She handed over the book to me. 

It was a large hardcover book of about five hundred illustrated glossy pages. It was called, “The American Horticultural Society – Encyclopedia of Gardening.” I love books and I have my own personal library and everytime I get my hands on a book, I don’t miss an opportunity to borrow it or steal it and add it to my library even if I plan never to read it. But here she was giving me this book which, if I took from her, would imply that I had to start using it. It meant having to spend more time working in the garden, which I had absolutely no plans for.

“Thank you Gloria, I really appreciate you sharing this book with me but it must be very personal to you specially if you have had it for so long. This summer, I might not have much time to spend in the garden so I’m not sure how much I will end up using it.” I explained. 

“It’s ok you can have it, You can use it whenever you feel like it. I promise you that you will learn a lot from it.” She persisted.

I had to take the book. I thanked her and brought it home. I browsed through some of the pages and then set it aside on the table. A few days later when I was tidying up the room, I put it in a bottom shelf in the library that had space for a bigger, taller book and it sat there for the next few years.

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One day I went to work and in the patient waiting room, I saw Gloria sitting there alone waiting for her turn to be called in to be seen by the doctor. I knew that it was not a good sign for her to be a patient at the cancer center. 

I knew she valued her privacy so I was reluctant to walk up to her but then decided that I should go and ask. 

“Hi Gloria. Is everything OK? What are you doing here at the Cancer Center?” I had a concerned look on my face.

“Oh I’m OK. I was diagnosed with colon cancer a few months ago and I had to have it surgically removed. The doctors are telling me that it’s all taken care of but I have to see the doctor and have scans every few months to make sure it doesn’t come back. It is hard to go through surgery at my age but I think I’m doing fine now.” She filled me in. 

“Well you know I work here so if I can be of any help please let me know. I know the doctor who you are seeing and he is a great guy and I’m sure he will take good care of you.” I offered my support.

“Thank you.” She said. 

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I would not get to see John and Gloria a lot during the winter months. The freezing temperatures were by no means any incentive to venture outdoors. Our gardens would be covered by inches of snow anyways. Gloria probably had some indoor plants that she tended to during the winters to remain engaged in her favorite hobby. During spring time when the snow melted and the leaves started sprouting from the plants, Gloria would make a reappearance in her garden. 

I saw her walking on her driveway inspecting her plant beds. 

“Hi Gloria, long time no see.” I greeted her.

“Hi Farhan. Good to see you. When the snow melts, we get to say hi to each other. How have you been?” She replied.

“I’m doing great. Listen, it’s been on my mind all winter to tell you that I still have your gardening book. I haven’t been able to use it much and I have hired a company to manage my garden this year so I will not be using it much. It’s a very expensive book and you have had it for such a long time. I wouldn’t want it just sitting there collecting dust. Can I give it back to you?” I asked.

“You know, it’s the kind of a book that if you keep it, I’m sure that some day you will find the use of it. Maybe if you keep it, it will serve as a reminder every now and then for you to consider it as your next hobby.” She insisted.

“I know but if that happens I can always take it back from you?” I asked.

“Let’s do this. You either keep it and use it yourself some day or maybe any of your kids might start taking interest in gardening. Maybe you can give it as a gift to someone who really enjoys gardening and will make use of it.” She suggested.

I thought in my mind, “OK that’s enough! I have offered it back to her and she is not taking it back. I’m just going to keep it and not bring it up again unless she asks for it herself.” The book remained on the same shelf in the library, occasionally being moved to another shelf whenever I was tidying up my library and rearranging books. 

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I came home from work one day and parked my car in the garage. I walked to the mailbox to retrieve the mail and as I was walking back, Gloria’s son Jack drove by in his truck. Jack was about my age and was always smiling and cheerful. He often visited his parents and his kids would play all day in their backyard. He waved at me and slowed down his truck to a stop. 

“How’s it going Jack? How’s work?” I asked.

“Work is just fine. I’m just trying to visit my parents most days of the week after work now.” He said.

“That’s so nice of you. See my parents live so far away that I cannot visit them frequently but I call my mom every day on my way to work.” I said.

“Well I’m not sure if you know or not but my mom is on hospice. She has only a few more weeks left to live according to the doctors.” He told me. 

“Oh my God! I didn’t know that. I am so very sorry to hear that. I hope she is not in too much pain. I am hoping I can stop by to see her one of these days, if that’s OK?” I asked. 

“Sure I will ask my parents but you know that they value their privacy a lot.” He said.

He drove away but left me with a very uneasy and confused feeling. I kept thinking to myself that my next-door neighbor was on her death-bed and I did not even know about it. What kind of a neighbor was I? Wasn’t it supposed to be my responsibility to know if any of my neighbors was going through a difficult time? Ever since I was a child, at home and at school it was taught that in order to be a good human being, helping others and being there for them at times of need takes more importance than anything else in life. So ignorant was I of the woes of my neighbor that I was just learning about her being at the end of her life by a casual drive-through conversation with her son. 

I came home and partially intentionally created a panic-like situation at home. I thought of it as an opportunity to teach kids how important it is to be there for our neighbors. I told them that Gloria was dying and she only had a little time left and that we had to do everything to make her feel loved and cared. We thought of preparing some food but then decided against it because we didn’t know what her dietary restrictions would be at this physical state. We thought of getting her flowers and visiting her but then I realized how her son had said that his parents really value their privacy. Did he mean that they would not want visitors and by visiting her, I would be inconveniencing them?

Finally I decided to write a letter. I wrote down my thoughts and emotions and well wishes to her. I had my kids also add a paragraph each about how they felt. In the letter I left my cell number saying that if Gloria was in a condition that she was willing to take visitors, to let us know. I left the letter in their mailbox. I did not hear back from either John or Jack. A few days later I saw a number of cars gathered outside her house and learnt that these were all close family members who were visiting because she had breathed her last. 

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A few months ago I was talking to my friends on a Whatsapp video call. We were planning our next get-together. We talked about visiting some country in South America or Europe where we had not been to before. Everyone was scrambling to find time on their busy schedules to take time off for a friends’ reunion. I suggested that this time they visit me because Western New York becomes so beautiful in the summers. They would also get to visit Toronto and Montreal since they were close to me and finally they made a plan to visit me in Rochester. 

A few days before their arrival, I got a call from Asad. Asad has been my friend since elementary school. Not only is he my friend but we were also neighbors as kids, family friends and since both our fathers were physicians, we had a very similar childhood. 

“Is there a shopping area or a mall close to where you live?” He asked.

“Of Course yes there is a nice mall only ten minutes from me. What do you need?” I asked.

“I want to buy a gift for Rabia. Right after I come back from our trip, it’s our anniversary and I haven’t bought a gift yet. Also if you have any nice gift ideas, let me know.” He said.

My mind wandered to the time when we were in high school and Asad had newly fallen in love with Rabia. Asad was a popular guy and Rabia became the envy of many girls. Asad and I both had similar tastes in music and even today we tell each other how he introduced me to the music of Elivs and I introduced him to Mehdi Hassan. One day Shania Twain’s song “You’re still the one” was playing and he was really enjoying it.

 He turned to me and said, “Every word of this song is so true.” 

“It doesn’t really do anything for me.” I replied. 

“How could it not?” He asked.

“Not everybody gets lucky in love like you did Asad. There are many people who either do not end up getting the person that they love or even if they do, they might fall out of love at some point.” I elaborated. 

Having been with Rabia for more than two decades now, he was probably still enjoying the song and looking for a gift to celebrate yet another anniversary. 

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My friends finally arrived at my place. It was after a long time that we had met. We were sitting in my living room where I have made one wall into a library. It is a large wall with close to a thousand books in the collection. I thought that we would spend the day at home and have a nice dinner and the next morning I would take Asad to the mall to help him find a gift for Rabia.

As we were talking I saw Asad browsing through the books in the library. His eyes stopped at one book. “This book looks interesting.” He got up and pulled that book from the shelf. I could not believe it when I saw that out of a thousand books, the one book that he picked up was The Encyclopedia of Gardening – the same book that Gloria had given me.

He excitedly started flipping through the pages and mumbling to himself, “Rabia will love this book. She is really into gardening.” 

“Well in that case we don’t have to go to the mall anymore. That book right there would be the best gift for her. Maybe it has been sitting on that shelf all these years, waiting to find its appropriate owner. ” I offered. 

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Was this a mere coincidence or should I take it as a spiritual experience? 

Aristotle would say that gardening is a very common hobby and it would have been very natural for Asad to choose a book out of others that aligned with his and Rabia’s interests. The book is large-sized and was fairly prominent amongst other books and it was quite natural for him to be drawn to this book and that is why he picked it out from the entire library. It was a coincidence that it was the same book that Gloria had given to me to eventually gift it to someone. 

Plato would say that something else is going on. In some other world, such as his world of otherworldly Forms, maybe this was intended to be a gift from Gloria to Rabia. I had tried my best to return the book to Gloria thinking that I had no use for it but Gloria had insisted that I keep the book and maybe someday give it to someone who would actually like it and make good use of it. At that time I had no idea who I would give it to. I had even thought that if I ran out of space, I would donate the book to a public library but maybe the book came into my house with its own destiny. It was meant to be given by Gloria to Rabia in the first place and for it to come to my library and for Asad to visit me after all these years were merely events that were vehicles for the delivery of this gift from one woman to the other who had never met each other but in some spiritual realm, were connected to each other through their common passion of gardening.

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We often hear from people about certain spiritual experiences that they go through. I personally have never had one. I’m always looking for something like that to happen to me. It just doesn’t happen. Or maybe I don’t look correctly. Maybe this story was as close to being a “spiritual” experience as possible. 

You must be thinking what I mean by having a spiritual experience. Let me try to explain. 

If you pick up any book on western philosophy, the central figure is Socrates. The chapters are usually divided into pre-socratic philosophers and the ones that came after him. The trio of Socrates followed by Plato and Aristotle hold the most central role in all of western philosophy. While Socrates himself did not write anything, but Plato and Aristotle wrote prolifically and their teachings are considered the basis of all or most knowledge that we still have today. Their concepts were taken and rehashed in a million ways by subsequent philosophers resulting in the knowledge that humankind has today. 

During the sixteenth century Renaissance period, the famous artist Raphael was commissioned to draw some paintings called frescos for the Pope’s palace. One of the paintings he made was called “The School of Athens.” In this painting he painted multiple philosophers representing all the “big shots” of philosophy known until that time. At the center of the painting are Plato and Aristotle symbolizing their central role in all philosophical thought. Plato is seen as an older man while Aristotle is young, reminding us how the latter was the former’s student. Aristotle learned from Plato all his life but towards the end rejected some of his theories and came up with his own philosophy. Both of them are seen holding their own authored books in their hands which are still some of the most widely read texts around the world. 

Now if you look closer, Plato is pointing towards the sky but Aristotle has his hand pointed towards the earth almost in a manner as if to rebuke Plato. Just by the gesture of the hands, Raphael has managed to show the most basic difference in the core concepts of the philosophies of both the great thinkers. 

The reason Plato is pointing towards the sky is because Plato tells us that this world that we live in, is not the real world. This is just a temporary illusion. There is a real world out there called the world of Forms. What we see here is only a reflection, just like a shadow that a caveman would see on the wall of a cave without being able to see the original object that he is seeing the shadow of. The world is much more than what we can see with our eyes or can feel with our senses. There is another so-called spiritual or metaphysical world out there that is not visible to our eyes. 

Aristotle on the other hand, is pointing towards this world and suggesting that what we see and experience is simply what it is. He relies on his senses and starts categorizing worldly things in an orderly manner. His work became the basis and the starting point of all the sciences that we have today. He gave us the most basic, initial concepts of the fields of ethics, politics and economics. One can easily say that his work is the foundation of all the different academic subjects that we have today. 

Oversimplifying something runs the risk of misunderstanding a concept but it still helps with beginning to comprehend an issue at hand. In our day to day world, I like to apply Raphael’s depiction of Plato and Aristotle in a broad way. To me, whenever somebody tells me that they had an “other worldly” or so-called spiritual or metaphysical experience, I feel that they are being Platonic. When people talk of seeing spirits or ghosts, djinns or angels, they are talking about beings that are not visible to the eye but they say that they exist. There are psychics who claim to read others’ minds and predict the future. Sometimes we have premonitions or get a feeling about something without any factual evidence and we call it the sixth sense. There is no proof of these things but still these are widely believed by humans. Nobody has seen the soul but everybody says that it exists. 

But if you were to ask Aristotle, he would argue that we should work with what we have at hand in this world. We should rely on our senses to see and feel the material things that surround us and go deeper into their study. This is what all the scientists and engineers and other professionals are doing every day of their lives. 

July 7, 2024